Oh, by the way......
- Feb 28
- 3 min read
Harcourts NSW CEO Katrina Tarrant on The Door Handle Question That Changes Everything in Real Estate
You know that moment when a conversation is wrapping up, everyone’s about to move on, and then just as someone’s hand is on the door handle, they drop the biggest, most important piece of information?
Doctors call it the doorknob phenomenon. A patient sits through an entire consultation, nodding along, answering questions, and then just as they’re about to leave, they casually mention:
"Oh, by the way… I’ve been having chest pain."
Boom. That changes everything.
And real estate? We’re full of door-handle moments.
What Are Clients Holding Back?
Sellers don’t always tell us their full motivation upfront. Instead, they start with:
"We’re just testing the market."
Then weeks later after price adjustments, slow inspections, and mounting pressure they finally admit:
"We actually need to sell quickly because of a divorce."
Buyers walk through homes, smiling, asking all the right questions, and then only when they’re about to put pen to paper they hesitate:
"I just don’t know if we can really afford this."
Landlords approve a tenant, sign the lease, and then once it’s all locked in they casually mention:
"I really wanted a longer lease term, but I wasn’t sure if I could ask for that."
These are the real concerns, the ones that shape the decisions people make. And they’re often the very last things they say.
Why Do People Hold Back?
It’s not that clients are trying to hide things. It’s human nature. People hesitate to bring up their biggest concerns for a few reasons:
· They don’t want to seem difficult.
· They’re not sure if their concern is valid.
· They assume they already know the answer.
· They don’t even realise what’s really bothering them, until the moment is almost gone.
And if we’re being honest, agents do it too.
What Are the Questions We’re Not Asking?
We sit through training, go to conferences, push through our daily grind, and rarely stop to ask ourselves:
· Am I asking the right questions, or am I just assuming I already know the answers?
· Am I really understanding my clients, or just hearing what they say on the surface?
· Am I taking the time to create space for the real conversation, or am I rushing to the next task?
And This Is Where It Gets Interesting…
If we know people hold back their biggest concerns, how do we get ahead of it?
1. Pause Longer
Don’t rush to the next question. Give people the time to sit with their thoughts. Silence is uncomfortable, but it’s also where the truth lives.
2. Ask the Second-Level Question
o Instead of “What’s most important to you in selling?” ask, “What does that outcome really mean for you?”
o Instead of “What’s your budget?” ask, “What’s the number that makes you excited, and what’s the number that makes you nervous?”
3. Watch for Hesitation
People say a lot in what they don’t say. The half-smile, the pause, the hesitation before they nod along. That’s when you lean in and say, “I feel like there’s something else on your mind. What is it?”
4. Make Space for the Unsaid
Sometimes, clients just need permission to ask the thing they’ve been holding back. Try:
o “Most sellers I work with have at least one big question they haven’t asked yet, what’s yours?”
o “If you had to pick one thing that’s been keeping you up at night about this process, what would it be?”
And What About Your Own Door Handle Questions?
This isn’t just about clients, it’s about us, too.
· Am I really fulfilled in my career, or am I just running on autopilot?
· Am I chasing numbers, or am I actually building relationships?
· Am I investing in myself, or just hoping things will work out?
The best agents, the best leaders, the best people don’t wait until the door is closing to have the real conversation. They open the space for it early.
So next time you’re wrapping up a listing appointment, a buyer meeting, a team check-in, or even a moment of self-reflection, ask: What’s the question that’s not being asked?
Because that’s the one that really matters.
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